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Overcoming Objections

Are you are dealing with objections on whether or not you can really take this trip with your girlfriends? Are these objections coming from you or possibly from a family member? Let’s take a look at both.

First, let’s examine the many reasons you have come up about why you just cannot do this. I’m going to just start with this bit of advice… STOP IT! I know there are a million reasons why you think this time for yourself just won’t work. I invite you to get really honest with yourself and dig into the real, raw reasons you’re feeling this way. Guilt maybe? Is it guilt over spending money? Are family demands an issue? These, along with whatever other argument you’re having with yourself about this, are all absolutely legitimate. But I invite you to take a different view. Taking this time for yourself really is cathartic! It could very well fill a gap in your life that you didn’t even know existed.

These objections that come from your own mind are really the easiest ones to address. Right now,  try writing down your list of why you can’t. For every NO reason on that list, make a new YES  list of why this trip is exactly what you need. I think you will find that every reason on your “YES” list will address something that has been brewing inside from your “NO.” When you begin to see these observations differently, you can start getting excited about making this happen.

The second type of objection can be an entirely different issue — those are the objections that come from others (generally family members).  Here’s an example: When I first started going on these trips, my youngest was a sophomore in high school and the other children had graduated. So, as far as child rearing, I felt okay about leaving. However, my husband had a really, really hard time with the idea. He reminded me A LOT about why this was a really bad idea for a lot of reasons from timing to finances. Bottom line, he just didn’t want me gone for a week. Part of this is that in many ways he’s pretty spoiled. Don’t get me wrong, my husband is one of the hardest working people I know. Because of this, I was able to work part-time and handled “household management” with the kids and house stuff. Truth is, I really believe the thought of me leaving just scared the heck out of him!! In this case, I made sure he knew I wasn’t doing this out of disrespect, but I needed this break from taking care of everyone and everything else. It took a while, but now he gets that this trip is pretty much non-negotiable, that it brings balance to my life and that it is a big part of my survival kit.  

Finding balance is so important in our lives!

To clarify, however, I would never suggest being so adamant in your discussions with your loved ones that it drives a wedge between you. But I believe (in most cases) you can find a resolution that is balanced and respectful. There are obviously things that may really limit your opportunity to get away for a week. I offer this example to demonstrate that there are solutions to almost every objection that may come your way – either internal or external. So maybe start small – maybe a weekend. But I cannot emphasize this enough – START. It really is life changing!

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Planning a trip with girlfriends – Part II

How do we start?

So you’ve got your group of friends ready to go. Now it’s time to think about where and when you want to make this happen. My group’s first trip was a Halloween cruise to the Mexican Riviera that left out of San Diego. We had such an amazing time, we vowed to take a trip every two years. I actually think this cruise was a great way to “test the waters” and see what is like to travel with these friends. A week on a cruise should help open your eyes to whether this is a good or not so good idea.

Our first adventure… 1999 Halloween party – Yes, we were a basketball team for the Halloween party, complete with blow up basketballs and reversible jerseys!

I don’t really have any big desire to do another cruise, but that’s just me. For some people, a cruise offers everything they are looking for! Again, there are no rules. It is about what you and your friends view as the getaway of your dreams. It’s about creating memories and lifelong friendships. 

Now,  we book houses, often fully staffed, including a cook whenever possible. (LOVE!) The most important thing is to remember this trip is all about reconnecting and completely relaxing. I am all about creating a pampered, comfortable, upscale and fun environment. A lot goes into all of this, which I will go into at a later time.

Beautiful Troncones, Mexico. Casa de la Sirena at the time included 8 villas. We took over the entire property. Each villa had an indoor air-conditioned bedroom with an outdoor living area. Loved it!

Once you begin the planning process, you will find that one of the biggest challenges is finding where you want to go and the place you are going to stay. After this, the rest is just fun details! My planning buddy (Diane) and I work out the details together. With two of us, we can really look at the big picture and bounce off ideas and observations. This system works magically. What I don’t see, she does, and vice versa. And if I may say so, so far, we are pretty awesome! It has actually gotten to the point that when its time to plan the trip, our group just asks where, when and how much. They may glance at the location, but they know we have everyone’s interest in mind, we know the different needs of each person, and they just trust we have found yet another great place for us all to land.

Manual Antonio, Costa Rica. Again fully staffed with views of the world. Amazing!

Personally, I love the hunt! It’s like putting a puzzle together.   We typically concentrate on beach locations outside of the US, mostly because some of my friends live in cold places with no beach. The majority us live in San Diego – and we are just spoiled, that’s all! So we do what we can to cater to these cold-weather friends.

In looking for the next great adventure, I look for a house that is unique, comfortable, big enough, plenty of bedrooms ( preferably all with king-sized beds), in an area that offers some fun exploration, hopefully fully staffed, with a property manager/owner who is open to having some fun as we put the details of our trip together. I have made some incredible connections over the years with people who I met during the search and whom I now consider to be friends. In many cases, we still communicate and I am so grateful to have them in my life. This is definitely an incredible bonus to putting together these adventures.

In looking for the best place for your group, you need to decide what type of accommodations you want. Cruise, Hotel, B&B, Condo, House? What is everyone looking for in a trip? Beach, mountain, in the U.S., outside of the U.S.? What is important? What do you love to do? Does anyone have any special needs? Is there somewhere you really want to go but just have not had the chance.

The best part of this is that you will be splitting the cost with your group. As an example, we stayed here in October 2018 …

A little slice of heaven in Bucerias, Mexico.

The price included a full staff who were just the most amazing people. Our chef, Patricia, prepared incredible gourmet breakfasts, snacks, and dinners. Our concierge, Alex, took such amazing care of us — and the bonus treat is that he’s a mixologist. He made sure our refrigerator was stocked with great food and the bar area full of great wine and tasty, freshly-made cocktails. Angela made sure our rooms were spotless, full of fresh towels and our beds cozy. And you know what the cost of this fully staffed house was per person for the whole week? $425! Priceless!!!  I am planning a return visit here for sure!

The moral of this story is get creative. Find your budget, but think big! Don’t rush. We usually start about a year and a half out from our next trip so we have plenty of time. Hint: I look for houses on VRBO.com. I read all the reviews and communicate with the manager/owner to see how they respond. Sometimes we book through here and sometimes we do it outside of this service.  The best part is that starting here will reveal a lot about the place and the people that run it. Start here and follow your gut! But most importantly, have a blast!!!!

My crew! Cheers friends! Here’s to the memories!
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Planning your trip with girlfriends. Part 1.

Let’s get to it!

So you’ve made the decision to get that Ladies’ Trip planned. Getting into the proper mindset for this is really the first step!  Like I said in my earlier post, it is the one week where I do not have to “perform” in all my other titles (wife, mom, grandmother, caretaker, general contractor, etc). It is the week where I just get to connect with some of my favorite people and reconnect with myself. My group has created some incredible memories that provide a lot of opportunities to smile and just reminisce.

BUT… it is really important to establish some ground rules before gathering your group together. First, I highly recommend you stay away from people prone to drama. There is absolutely no room for this on your trip. We get plenty of that at home in our daily lives. So my first rule is to gather people who will be tolerant and respectful each other, know how to have fun, have some basic similar interests and are willing to just let go and embrace a new way of traveling.

Secondly, I recommend a list of basic rules. Here’s the list we established in my group:

NO HEADING OFF BY YOURSELF Stick with a buddy (all about safety)

NO MEN IN OUR ROOM/HOUSE: This rule was established after a trip a friend took with another group where her roommate actually hooked up with a cock fighter in Puerto Vallarta and spent the entire time with him in her room — I know, too crazy, but true. This left my friend in a really uncomfortable position and ruined her trip. It seems almost ridiculous with the women I travel with to put that out there, but we added it just to be very clear!

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO ANYTHING YOU DON’T WANT TO: This trip is about you – so do the things you want and stay back from the things you aren’t really interested in. That being said, it is really important to put together group things that speak to everyone. We generally only have about 3 organized group activities. This leaves the rest of the days open for each person to fill as they wish – most of which involves just hanging out, playing games, exploring the area and A LOT of laughter.

NO DRAMA: Enough said. The expectation is if you’re having “a moment,” go to your room and get over it! Then come back out and continue the fun. This has worked really well in our group. (That’s not to say this has never happened… there are a few people who have not been asked back – there’s a reason).

RELAX AND CREATE SOME BIG FUN! After all, this is what it is all about!

This is what it is all about!

That’s it. This is the total list of our rules. I invite you to think about what that would look like for your group. Please remember this getaway is not like others. You are getting away from normal life, normal obligations and normal travel issues when with family or business. So do not create too many rules. Keep it simple and free-spirited. Most importantly, have fun!

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Why would you want to travel with your friends?

Because of memories like this! That’s why!

As women, it is no secret that we take very little time for ourselves. No matter what your personal story, there’s no denying that we all sometimes get caught in a sense of overwhelm with no escape in sight. I am here to tell you there is an escape route! Instead of wishing for a break, it is time that you TAKE a break! In my own life, these breaks are … priceless.  My mission is to help you carve out and embrace those opportunities in your own life!

Today as I sit here, surrounded by the chaos, pressures and “noise” of a crazy busy life, I close my eyes and reflect on special moments that make me smile. My thoughts go to uncontrollable laughter over a spirited game of Phase 4 while sipping wine and looking out over the Carribean or a game of Farkle in the pool in Belize after finishing the afternoon’s “synchronized” swimming competition. Sometimes I smile thinking about the quiet times in the early morning, sipping coffee with just one friend while others sleep and looking out over stunning views in St Thomas, Belize, Costa Rica or Tulum. Sometimes it’s as simple as cocktail hour with friends watching a sunset on a beach right here in San Diego.

Travel is great! But it isn’t the travel itself that makes me smile. It’s the magic that happens when I travel with girlfriends! No one to cater to – instead YOU are the one being catered to! Suddenly you realize a calmness and a silencing of the “noises.” You can actually feel your spirit rejuvenating!

For me, these trips are my life force! My friends and I go on a trip together every two years. My family understands this is a non-negotiable week off. After twenty years, I have a treasure chest of memories that I can draw on that cause me to smile (or sometimes laugh out loud). Planning a future adventure is exciting and inspiring — and again I smile! These trips make all the difference in my crazy world. I am here to help them make a difference in yours.

So gather the girls and let’s get started!